So this week I worked with an extremely gifted lady. Harvard educated and an employee of a top investment bank you would think that she exuded bundles of confidence. Unfortunately, the reality was the opposite. In short she didn’t believe that she was good enough. She believed in herself so little that she had begun to expect failure and had no confidence in her ability to pass an interview for a promotion.
From the outside this sounds ridiculous. How can such a talented person not believe in their abilities? Surely they must be able to see from their past successes that they are capable of great things?
In my clinic I see cases like this time and time again. We form beliefs about ourselves and the world around us in childhood between the ages of around 2 & 7. We start to give ourselves labels based on the things the most important people in our lives tell us. Sometimes these can be good beliefs like:
“I am a good person”
“I am clever”
“I am attractive”
But sometimes these can be negative beliefs like:
“I am a bad person”
“I am stupid”
“I am ugly”
These beliefs form what is known as our “belief system”.
Now you would think that if had a negative belief from early childhood that you would outgrow it. People would tell you that you were great and you would believe it. Right? Wrong.
The reality is that the beliefs we form in early childhood often stick with us for life. That is unless we do something about it.
So how can hypnosis help?
After I’d been studying hypnotherapy for a few months I learnt about something called the “affect bridge”. It is essentially a way of tracing back negative feelings to their root cause so that you can change them. It fascinated me. It seemed so logical that in order to solve a problem you first had to find out where it came from. The “affect bridge” now forms the basis of much of my work, including the hypnosis downloads on this site.
Lets take a look at how it works:
My talented lady said that she was experiencing real “fear” when she thought about her forthcoming interview. She felt it in her chest and said it was like a nauseous feeling. Using hypnosis we were able to follow these feelings back to their origin. And guess what? They didn’t come from University or College, they came from early childhood.
As a very young girl she learnt to believe that she wasn’t good enough. Her mother told her she was stupid and she believed it. In fact she continued to believe it for the next 30 years!
Fortunately once we had found the root cause she was able to change the belief. Using her adult mind she was able to re-examine what her mother had said and decide for herself whether or not it was true. She decided it was not. She realised on reflection that her mother was actually voicing her own insecurities.
This simple piece of hypnosis was the difference between failure and success for this lady. She contacted me after her interview and it went extremely well. We are still waiting to hear whether she got the job but the important thing is she believed, hand on heart, that she was good enough.
* Client consultations are always 100% confidential. Client names are never mentioned in this blog and details have been changed to protect privacy.
Update (09/12/2016) she got the job!